My Happily Ever After

Reprinted from Goodreads:


A FanFiction parodying the Republic Commando novels by Karen Traviss, but could be extended to a great many series.



Once upon a time, I was at my desk, staring at a computer and wondering when the heck Outlook would ever open so I could check my emails. I watched the little hourglass cursor flip back and forth, wishing it was real so I could garrote it. I tapped my finger impatiently on the desk and flipped over my pen, so it rolled onto the floor and under my desk.


“Great, just great,” I mumbled, sliding out of the chair and under the desk. I crawled on my hands and knees until I finally saw the bugger wedged in a dark corner. I reached for it, straining to grab it, but all I got was cords.

I looked again and saw it was just barely out of hand's reach. I closed my eyes and sighed. “My luck,” I said, shaking my head wearily. Would this day ever end? Could anything else please go wrong?

Suddenly, a white arm extended down and swiped the pen. I jerked back from under the desk and rose, banging my head hard on the desk. “OW!” I yelled, clasping my head where it smarted. I looked up and saw the man and gaped.

He was tall, but not too tall, muscular and dressed in white armor from his helmeted head to his sturdy boots. I wasn't sure what was up, who he was, or whether he was trouble or not, but I figured he had to be okay...after all, he did get my pen. And anyone that retrieves an irretrievable pen has to be okay...right??

I reached for my pen and took it from his armored glove. Our hands touched ever so briefly and I nearly swooned at his touch. “Thank you,” I whispered, my voice unsteady. Was I going to faint? I wasn't sure.

The man tilted his head in a demure nod. “You are very welcome, m'lady,” he said, his voice so strong and...manly. “I was wondering if you would help me find some files.”

I didn't even pause to think if my boss would mind it. I didn't think about the clause I signed that would mean I could get fired, sued, and arrested for divulging company secrets to competitors. I didn't think about the college loans and car loans I had that would need to be paid if I got fired for releasing this information. I didn't think about my family and how they would react to this. Somehow, I knew I had to help this man I had only just met. It was right. It was moral. I rose from the ground and slid into my seat. “Of course, what do you need?”

He explained what he needed quickly and, since my computer had finally opened Outlook, I proceeded to find the highly sensitive documents he needed and promptly gave them to him. He took off his helmet, showing his rugged good looks and smiling. “Thank you so much. You have no idea how much we appreciate this.”

I stood beside him and smiled in reply. “Of course, it is no problem. Anything for you and...who was it again that you needed this for?”

He tucked in the USB which had the highly sensitive information on it into his pocket. If my coworkers found out...oh, but who cares? “Oh, my clone brothers. Perhaps I can repay you with...dinner?”

We had spent only 30 minutes with each other, not even enough for a coffee date in most places, but it might as well have been a lifetime. I knew him. I knew he was good and right and of course Mr. Perfect for me.

“Of course, I'm free now.” It didn't matter to me that I had just gotten back from lunch when I met him. He was the only thing important in my life now. Him and his clone brothers. I had to help him wherever he needed, whenever, no matter what I believed or felt or thought. The only thing that mattered was him. I reached to my chair and picked up my jacket. I shrugged into it and together, we left.

We had just stepped outside the door, amid copious looks of shock and astonishment from bigoted coworkers (they just didn't understand this man!), when he turned to me and held my hand. “Mhi solus tome. Mhi solus dhar'tome. Mhi me'dinui an. Mhi ba'juri verde.”

Somehow, even though I had never heard this language before, I knew exactly what was happening. I swallowed the lump in my throat back and repeated the words carefully. “Mhi solus tome. Mhi solus dhar'tome. Mhi me'dinui an. Mhi ba'juri verde.”
He smiled at me and pulled me close into a tender embrace. “Kal'buir will be so happy to see you!” he said jovially.

Needless-to-say, we skipped dinner and went straight to Kyrimorout, without even stopping at my apartment to pack or make arrangements or anything. There, I removed all my horrible clothes and donned my apron, ready to be the good Mando wife for my meat can.