Three Strikes and yer OUT!

No Such Thing - Edward Lorn

Bullet Review:

I know it's odd to DNF a short story. I mean the story is, what 25 pages (according to GoodReads that is), and I couldn't manage that?


First off, the main character calls a woman "fräulein". I'm no German expert, but one conversation I remember vividly with my German professor was how RUDE and SEXIST the term was and how it is being phased out of German speech. So the (male) MC calling a woman that is the first strike.

The second strike is the writing. MC goes from calling said woman "fräulein" to "fräu" for no reason, and most sentences begin with some form of "he did...she did..."

But the final strike was this:

"Johan studied the woman's apple shaped bottom from just underneath her jacket."

Not only does it exemplify the shoddy writing (so Johan is hiding out underneath the woman's jacket?! If I were that woman, I'd be punching his lights out) but also showing that our MC, the protagonist, the guy we are rooting for is a sexist pig who thinks women are just vaginas to be bedded.

And because I went to the ballgame just this past weekend:

"For it's ONE...TWO...THREE STRIKES you're OUT at the OLD BAAAAALL GAME!!!"